I'm not really sure where to begin here. I'm beginning to loathe the word "pursue." This is a word that is becoming painfully overused in the Crosswalk Community (better known as the "God-Squad"). Many of the guys use it to describe the act of some refer to as "chasing tail" or whatever. The word "pursue" sounds much, much nicer than "chasing tail," but I'm beginning to believe that that is its only purpose. Guys use it like it's some sort of holy word. "Hey man, I'm pursuing so-and-so, pray for me."
There's a sense of desperation in the air. In the Christian community pre-marital sex is frowned upon big time. I'm not going to go and say that pre-marital sex is a good idea. I'm not a fan of how our culture treats sex. Basically the only way I'm going to end up having sex is if I get married, and that's only because it comes with the territory. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's delightful. However, there is WAY too much emphasis on it. Every weekend is a new quest to get laid, and I think it's stupid.
Anyway like I said, in Christian culture pre-marital sex is frowned upon. So the emphasis switches from having sex to getting married. There's also this lame idea that the guy always has to make the first move in a romantic situation. So basically what happens is guys don't understand how to handle something that's stressed so much in our culture like sex, know they should get married or whatever, and go crazy "pursuing" every girl around. They convince themselves that they like some girl in order to date her, possibly marry her, and then have sex. guys are going insane and not even understanding what they're getting in to.
From my experience, most people I've met (Christian and non) link their happiness to whether or not they're involved in a relationship. They blame their unhappiness on "sexual frustration" (which by the way is a fancy word that scientists made up to replace "selfishness" to justify this "need" for sex). People base their worth on other people. I don't know about you, but I don't see how finding my value in another person could be anything but harmful to me. People are naturally selfish, and therefore will always let you down unless you comply with their every "want" or "need," which is impossible.
Don't get me wrong, I think it'd be swell to find "Ms. Right" or whatever and live "happily ever-after." BUT, there's no use in sulking because she has yet to show up. There's even less use in "pursuing" every single girl that I find remotely attractive in order to find her. This will only leave a trail of carnage behind you. When you look at every girl as a potential-mate you lose out on being their friend. And because you'll only end up with one girl, in the long run others can be no more than friends. You begin to treat ladies as objects, a means to an end, and not as people.
As I write this I currently have 0 (zero) prospects. And as crazy as it would've sounded to me several months ago, I love it. It leaves me with the ability to just be myself and befriend more people, which leads to better relationships, which will lead to a legitimate marriage. I will not get married just so I can have sex. I will not get married to feel secure. Many (many) christians do this, and it makes a mockery of something viewed as "holy matrimony."
In "keeping your options open" you're really just giving in to a fear of commitment. When you're not sure who to "pursue," you shouldn't be "pursuing" anyone. If there isn't someone who sticks out, you'll settle. And settling in this case is a synonym for "giving up."
When people say "I really feel like God wants me to pursue someone," it actually means "man, I am SO insecure that I need to hit on every moderately attractive girl I see so I can latch onto them, and THEN I'll be a legitimate human being." Sex/dating/marriage/romance are not requirements for human survival.
You tell me that you like her, you just wish you did.


You're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are.